Hope you are doing good, It might seem crazy what iam about to say so please understand that since time immemorial, your stories have haunted me. From Hindi movies to daily soaps, my aunties to my cousins all generations and mediums have painted the image of a ghastly MIL. Being an Indian woman and treading through my later twenties a wedding and an MIL are the only things which stress me apart from my day job. Using the professional skills and expertise honed over the years (as an HR and that too a business partnering one), I thought communicating my concerns and possible solutions would be a proactive and effective solution to the dilemma that we are in (hoping you are haunted by the stories of a DIL as well). So below are the concerns based on the data collected by generations over the ages:
– You fear I would steal your sunny boy: Ive never been a possessive bitch/ possessing witch which ever seems convenient,
but some preferential treatment from the loved ones is always sought esp if the loved one happens to be a husband. Being a woman I can relate to such needs that you might have from your doting son as well. So we can strike a deal here, for all the love and time that you feel your son is investing into me , we can balance it out with endless shopping sprees, gossiping also iam a pro at handling facebook or whats app so we can exchange the tech crash courses with recipes specialized at, over the years.
PS: if you are not too fond of cooking we can explore restaurants as well.
– I would be required to get up early, on A SUNDAYS AS WELL!!!
Candid Confession: I roam like a zombie the days I get up way too early and Iam a lazy bum of highest order \
A question here: why can’t we all just make peace here , chill and sleep to our hearts content. This would not only make us happy but more effective as well and I can send numerous references to prove this (if need be). Though iam fine with getting up early for instances which need early morning attention.
– I would have to cook like a pro and prepare three meals a day
I would love to cook to reach your son’s heart as they say but as iam aware of better and more comfortable ways of doing that so can’t we just restrict to one or maybe two meals a day.
Also we women are treated as free help and home appliances; I strongly feel we should walk towards liberation along with employment generation by deploying an inhouse maid. We both,I believe have much more important decisions in life to make rather than “ajj kya banaun”
– You cannot be my mother and I cannot be your daughter
A suffix as grave and logical like “LAW”used by the creator (of this word) just pronounces the reality that a loving mother and daughter relation should never be expected and any false expectations would lead to deadly ends.
Iam sure your experience would testify this , so lets just crash the clichés and not burden this relation with unrealistic expectations instead lets be friends. Yes , friends in the true sense. You can relive your younger times and we can both fulfill the numerous dreams you might have sacrificed while raising your family. An adventurous spirit iam , so anything you feel like , count me in
– You would gossip around with all your relatives about me and I would do the same as well
I think it would be a sheer mockery of the choices we make in life instead we can accept the differences like a team at a great workplace rather than being political parties. We can resolve conflicts, (if any) with an amazing pedicure topped with a fabulous sundae and juicy gossips (about others)
– I would be judged at every step for the initial years (at least..extended if need be)
I have encountered such situations whenever I have changed my job, so I understand your needs of observing and judging me as well. So like at every great workplace you can induct me well with a good understanding of Do’s and Don’ts at your place.
You would have to lay the right expectations, provide the required resources, authority and trust to deliver the desired results, reviews and feedback (timely basis) would be welcome and appreciated. I ve always emerged with flying colors under such circumstances (references can be furnished) .
Hence your support would spare you valuable time otherwise spent being “Sherlock Holmes” also a cordial relation would happen.
Though I know you are living in the comfort of your home oblivious to the ramblings of a disturbed soul and this reaching you is like a one in a million chances still a die hard optimist (that I am) would request all the kith and kin to spread this like fire (make it GO VIRAL in tech terms) with a hope that if not you it reaches your tall dark handsome sunny boy who brings it to you as iam keen on knowing you inputs as well for further tweaking the aforementioned solutions 😉
Yours Very Own DIL (To be)